Why Boys and Men Are Struggling, and Why Dads Matter More Than Ever
A Keep Winning Dads Foundational Essay
Inspired by the work of Richard Reeves, Scott Galloway, and former U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy
A Crisis Hiding in Plain Sight
There is a growing crisis in the lives of boys and men — one that is reshaping families, communities, and the emotional landscape of our nation. It doesn’t always make headlines, but it often goes unnoticed in silence. Its impact touches every home, including yours and mine.
The data is undeniable.
Boys are falling behind in school.
Men are disengaging from the workforce.
Friendships are shrinking.
Loneliness is rising.
Suicide rates among men are nearly four times higher than among women.
Millions of men struggle quietly — unsure of their place, purpose, or value.
And in the middle of this reality stands one of the most important roles ever created:
A father.
Not a flawless father or an old-school authoritarian father, but a present, engaged, intentional father. A father who sees the world his sons and daughters are stepping into and chooses to step in with them.
Richard Reeves: “Boys and Men Are Struggling — and It Matters.”
Richard Reeves, author of Of Boys and Men and founding president of the American Institute for Boys and Men, has spent years studying the trends that shape male wellbeing.
His research reveals:
Educational Decline
Boys are behind girls in reading, behavior, graduation, and college enrollment.
For every 100 women earning a bachelor’s degree, only 74 men do.
This isn’t about intelligence, it’s about development. Boys mature later, and our systems often fail to account for this.
Economic Shifts
Jobs traditionally held by men, such as manufacturing, trades, and physical labor, have declined or undergone significant transformation. Men without a college degree face shrinking opportunities and rising discouragement.
Identity Confusion
Reeves calls it “cultural redundancy.” Many men feel unsure where they fit in a world that no longer rewards traditional strengths, yet hasn’t clearly defined new expectations.
Fatherhood: A Forgotten but Essential Role
Reeves argues that fatherhood is one of the most powerful stabilizing forces in a boy’s life.
But society often treats fathers as optional. They aren’t. A father’s presence shapes identity, emotional regulation, confidence, and a sense of belonging.
Scott Galloway: “The Most Dangerous Person Is a Man Who Is Alone.”
NYU Professor Scott Galloway has become a fierce advocate for acknowledging the struggles of boys and men — not out of politics, but out of compassion and concern.
He highlights:
A Crisis of Connection
Galloway warns that men are becoming “untethered.” They have fewer friendships, less community involvement, and fewer social anchors than any previous generation.
Declining Brotherhood
In 1990, over 50% of men reported having six or more close friends.
Today, that number has fallen to just 27%.
And 15% of men report having zero close friends.
Friendlessness, sometimes referred to as a friend recession, is now a public health threat, and men are most at risk.
Economic + Romantic Instability
Men struggling in education and employment are more likely to experience difficulties in relationships and family formation. Galloway calls this a “downward spiral of belonging,” where lack of purpose compounds isolation.
The Warning
“The most dangerous person in the world is a man who is isolated.”
— Scott Galloway
Connection is not optional; it’s oxygen.
U.S. Surgeon General: “Loneliness Is an Epidemic.”
In 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a landmark report titled Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.
His findings are staggering:
Loneliness is as dangerous to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Isolation dramatically increases the risk of heart disease, dementia, depression, and early death.
Men, in particular, are at greater risk because they are less likely to seek connection, support, or openness.
Dr. Murthy writes: “Human beings are wired for connection. Without it, we break.”
And that is exactly what we are seeing. Men are breaking, silently, but there is another way.
Where These Crises Converge: The Disconnected Man
When you weave these three thought leaders together, a clear pattern emerges:
Boys and men are:
falling behind in school,
losing in the economy,
drifting from purpose,
shrinking from connection,
suffering from loneliness.
This is not a small problem; it’s a generational turning point, and the solution isn’t found in political debates or culture-war shouting matches. It’s found in:
Homes
Communities
Conversations between fathers and sons
Men choosing to walk with men
A new model of masculinity rooted in strength, responsibility, empathy, and connection
This is where Keep Winning Dads steps in.
Why Fathers Matter More Than Ever
You cannot fix the world, but you can transform your home. You can give your children, especially your sons, what the world is failing to give men:
belonging
guidance
accountability
emotional safety
a role model
a story to live into
a roadmap for purpose and legacy
Fathers are not optional; they are architects. The father you choose to be becomes the foundation on which your children stand.
The Keep Winning Dads Path Forward: The Own the Gap Framework
The five pillars of the framework are uniquely designed to counter the crisis described by Reeves, Galloway, and Murthy.
Clarity
Know who you are, what matters, and who you are called to become—men without clarity drift, men with clarity lead.
Choice
Decide to engage. Every connection, every conversation, every negative pattern interrupt is a choice to build a legacy.
Consistency
Structure and reliability create stability in homes and hearts. Boys thrive when men show up over and over.
Connection
You teach your children how to connect by modeling connection: with your spouse, your friends, your community, and with them.
Contribution
Purpose and service are antidotes to despair. Men come alive when they help others.
The Own the Gap framework is the countercultural, necessary, restorative work of Keep Winning Dads.
A Timely Call: International Men’s Day — November 19, 2025
Every year, November 19 is recognized as International Men’s Day, a moment dedicated to:
highlighting positive male role models
improving men’s mental and physical health
strengthening fatherhood
fostering healthy masculinity
building safer, stronger communities
Let this be more than a date on the calendar. Let it be a reminder that men matter, deeply, and that every father who chooses to lead with intention becomes a force for healing in a world that desperately needs it.
A Final Word to Fathers
Richard Reeves gives us the data. Scott Galloway provides us with the warning. Dr. Vivek Murthy gives us the diagnosis. You, fellow dad — and the men you lead — hold the cure. Fathers who choose connection over isolation, presence over avoidance, love over withdrawal change generations. One day at a time. One conversation at a time. One intentional choice at a time.
This is how we rewrite the story of men, heal what’s breaking, and build the future our sons and daughters deserve.
